The elaborate illusions that shield us; deceive us

Updated: Oct 2, 2020



“I worked so hard and put my best effort, but I am sure they didn’t like my presentation. I am not good enough; I could see it in their eyes. I will not go back in there again.” The man told himself while his boss and others at the meeting loved his presentation and wanted to wait a day for a vote to decide in his favor.

“My friend was so mean; I should never have let her pick first. I am never going to talk to her again.” A girl told herself after losing the toss, while her friend didn’t pick her because she wanted to play fair and not let her friendship be the decisive factor.

“I am sure these people don’t like me. I am not going to another party here. I don’t need to force myself to be among those who don’t like me.” A new mother thought to herself after moving into a new neighborhood while all the neighbors thought that she was lovely but just a little shy, so they gave her some space at the party.

“She never says sorry for her attitude and now I am sitting here alone while she is enjoying her time out with her best friend.” The husband told himself while his wife was out, telling her friend that she was ashamed of her behavior and didn’t know how to apologize to her husband.

We as humans are built in with a defense mechanism to justify our attitude and behavior with a story in our minds. The story is an authentic lie intended to shield us from the risk of emotional weakness, this is a memory error mostly referred to as confabulation. People who confabulate collect incorrect memories and are generally very confident about their recollections, despite opposing evidence.

The reason being that humans are hardwired into loving a made-up story that justifies them one way or the other. We love a fabricated story it’s an emotional reward for the continuous mind that babbles on, with little doubts and aversions.

Confabulations affect us daily and the only thing that helps to keep them in check are the moments of awareness. Every time we build up a story, we must remind ourselves to check its authenticity by analyzing who is creating the story. Is it just an illusion or an event because if we are not careful, we end up storing these stories as lessons of our life? The stories that we build up in our minds become the deciding factors of our future decisions.


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